As a family we have recently had to say our final goodbyes to some very special friends. I almost dread a call from my Mum at the moment, as each one seems to bring more sad news.
If there is a positive it is that they have all reached a 'good' age, one of our relatives was 99. Often with age comes health issues, and it is often a blessing to know they are no longer suffering. Of course this doesn't lessen the loss.
For me, in my role as well as in my family life, learning of a death makes me appreciate more and more how important it is to enjoy life, and make the most of every passing day. Of course life isn't always a bed of roses (mind you I always think that is a funny phrase as roses have such horrid thorns), but even when it is tough you can find some happiness and things to be positive about.
Over the years I have grown to appreciate the little things; the snatched moment when the sun shines and I stand at the backdoor mid way through preparing a meal and soak up the rays briefly, walking our dog across the fields, either meeting others or enjoying the solitude. Time spent with my family is always special, and whilst physically being with them is completely heart bursting, I also grab hold of those moments where I am in the kitchen and can hear them laughing together in another room.
I like to think that I stopped growing up at 35. I enjoyed being 35. I felt that I had found my place in the world, and I felt comfortable. I wouldn't want to be 5 or 9 or 15 again. There was nothing wrong with those years, but they served their purpose. So maybe I don't want to be Peter Pan after all. I have no problem with another year passing at each Birthday, to be honest I firmly believe that I will live until I am 100 plus like my inspirational Auntie, but if my time is up tomorrow then that's fine.
Of course I would like to live on, there are lots of things that I would love to do, and be here for, but in my job I know that we have no control over how long our life is. I am therefore happy that I try my hardest to enjoy each day, to find something positive, to be kind and to love those I care about.
When my time comes, it will come, I just hope that I arrive at that point having made the most of my life (and probably driven my offspring nuts)! My dream would be for my life to end surrounded by a dash of glitter, and with a glass of bubbly (almost drunk) in my hand, but nature may well have other ideas. We will just have to wait and see, but in the mean time I shall do my best to make the most of every day and enjoy life whilst I can.
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